Tammy Nelson, Ph.D.: Never Say This To A Friend Who's Been Cheated On

Sex and relationship expert; Psychotherapist; Author of The New Monogamy and Getting the Sex You Want; International speaker

Your friend calls you in the middle of the night, crying. She sniffles and barely manages to say, "He did it again. He cheated!" You hold your breath because you aren't sure what to say. You want to say the right thing. However, what comes out may be the the worst thing you can say.

Right now, your friend or loved one is in a crisis. They just found out that their partner cheated. Sure, there are things they want to hear. And you want to say them, because you want to comfort your friend. And you want to let your friend know that you are there for him or her in their misery. But trust me, if you say the wrong thing now, it could come back to bite you later on. And some things you say could be even worse -- you could lose your friendship forever.

Do you want to really help them? Here are the things you should never say to a friend who's been cheated on:

Leave. This is the worst thing that you can say. When someone shares with you that they've been cheated on, they are basically opening up and sharing one of the most vulnerable and defeated moments of their life. It makes sense that you might tell them to leave. But when you first find out that your spouse or partner has cheated, whether it's disclosed or discovered, the last thing you should be doing is making a decision about what you want to do in the long term. In fact, if you want to give better advice to your friend right now, say to them them, "Don't make any decisions right now. Wait until the major feelings blow over."

Tell them this: It's important in this time of crisis to feel safe and to take care of one's health and safety. Find a place to sleep if you can't be in the same bed as your partner and take care of your health by remembering to eat and drink plenty of water. And remember that what you are feeling now is not what you are going to feel a few days or even a few months from now. Now is not the time to make any major decisions about your future. Moving out, breaking up or filing for divorce now may make it even harder later on.

Once a cheater always a cheater. That's just not true. Many affairs happen because of opportunity. And in fact, many relationships can be sound, happy and healthy and affairs still happen. And cheating partners may be very remorseful and willing to do anything they can to repair afterward. What may be more helpful to hear right now is that many relationships are stronger than ever after an affair.

It may not be clear right away if this relationship will make it or not, but if you are really a friend trying to give advice, what gives you the right to tell someone that if their partner cheats, they will always do it again? How do you know?

Men are such pigs. Or the equivalent: Women are such sluts. It's not helpful to classify someone's most important partner as just one of a whole group of unwholesome and awful people. Inferring that one's partner has no integrity, cannot be trusted and, in fact, is a lowly, awful person with no redeeming qualities may feel good in the moment, but if your friend ends up staying with that person, they will never want to look you in the eye again and you may end up not only losing your friend, but creating an enemy.

They should have just left you first. That's easy for you to say. The person being cheated on didn't want to be cheated on. What makes you think it's easier to hear that they should have been dumped instead? How would being broken up with have made their life any better? In fact, they probably don't want their partner to end their marriage or relationship, so you saying that it would have been better to divorce is going to sound like the ultimate insult. It is incredibly patronizing for a friend or loved one to assume that ending a marriage or committed partnership is better than being cheated on. Yes, being cheated on feels awful, but how is being dumped going to feel any better?

You'll meet someone better. Don't try and move your friend onto someone else or something else too soon. They aren't ready and they don't want to be. And no, they shouldn't have a "revenge" affair. Don't take your friend out to meet someone else. Don't encourage them to cheat to "get even." If they do that, then they will just have to get over two affairs: their partner's and their own.

So what do you say when to a friend that's been cheated on? You are allowed to have your own feelings, but let your friend know that they are yours: "I am so mad and upset that this happened to you. It's hard for me to forgive what they did to you right now. I am so upset for you."

Do yourself and them a favor: Be supportive by listening, being empathetic and validating their feelings. This might sound like, "I am so sorry you are going through this. It must feel awful right now. I understand that you are feeling so sad and angry. It sounds like you are feeling terrible. What can I do right now to help? What do you need from me? "

Perhaps the most important way to support a friend after infidelity is to simply let them know, "I love you and I am here for you. (Even if you can't resist throwing in a one-time "...Whether you stay with that cheating s-o-b or not.")

Dr. Tammy Nelson is a world renowned sex and relationship expert and the author of The New Monogamy and Getting the Sex You Want. She can be found at www.drtammynelson.com. For more information on creating your new monogamy agreement go to https://www.drtammynelson.com/products-page/book/newmonogamyautographed/

Follow Tammy Nelson, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/drtammynelson

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Ben Heisler: 'Never Make Predictions... Especially About the Future': My 2013 MLB Picks

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"Never make predictions, especially about the future."

I have always had an affinity for the quotes of the legendary Casey Stengel.

Everyone thinks of Yogi Berra as the quintessential baseball quote. He made you think, laugh and occasionally want to launch your head into a brick wall. But Stengel, manager of 3,766 games in the Big Leagues never wasted any time getting to the point:

"There's three things you can do in a baseball game: You can win or you can lose or it can rain."

Hard to argue with that kind of enlightenment.

The same can be said about making predictions for an upcoming season. You can win (come up with the accurate picks). You can lose (your picks could look like a 2013 NCAA bracket). Or it can rain (I'll leave this one open to interpretation... I view it as writing your picks long-hand, cutting it up into confetti sleeves, and then proceeding to 'make it rain' after completion).

So without further ado, I give you my foolish and feeble attempt at trying to predict baseball.

American League EAST:
•Division Winner: Tampa Bay Rays
•Why They'll Get It Done: This is the most competitive division in baseball. With all five teams constantly trading Ali/Frazier sized blows to the face of each other, one must find a constant among the chaos. The Rays pitching staff is the class of the division led by reigning AL Cy Young winner David Price. Factor in a second full season from stud lefty Matt Moore, RHP Jeremy Helickson and a healthy, MVP-type season from third baseman Evan Longoria, the Rays come away on top.
•How They Could Screw Up My Prediction: Longoria continues to be plagued by injuries and the offense fails to bail their pitching staff out. Also, Roberto Hernandez becomes "Bad Fausto Carmona" again and Fernando Rodney upon completion of a save, fires an arrow into the sky that comes back to earth and hits him in the ass on the way back.
•How The Standings Will Play Out:
oTampa Bay Rays
oBoston Red Sox
oToronto Blue Jays
oNew York Yankees
oBaltimore Orioles

American League CENTRAL:
•Division Winner: Detroit Tigers
•Why They'll Get It Done: Too much talent on this team both in the lineup and rotation and not enough in the rest of the division. Cabrera, the reigning MVP and Triple-Crown winner along with first baseman Prince Fielder will continue to mash, and Justin Verlander, fresh off brand-new contract will have another Cy Young type season.
•How They Could Screw Up My Prediction: The merry-go-round of bullpen arms in the closer role fail to find consistency, leaving Jim Leyland with a bullpen of confusion and no sign of confidence in the 9th inning. Also Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder both simultaneously get hurt or become victim of the Swahili Flu.
•How The Standings Will Play Out:
oDetroit Tigers
oKansas City Royals
oChicago White Sox
oCleveland Indians
oMinnesota Twins

American League WEST:
•Division Winner: Los Angeles Angels
•Why They'll Get It Done: If you haven't heard of this here Mike Trout kid, he's really quite special. The five-tool "should've been MVP" outfielder from 2012 has another solid season, although it will be tough to replicate the type of success from a year ago. Factor in a full season of Albert Pujols being the player they thought he'd be and the most complete lineup in the American League give the Halos a slight edge over the Rangers.
•How They Could Screw Up My Prediction: I still have lots of concerns regarding their starting pitching. After Jered Weaver, it's a whole lot of "Ehhhh." CJ Wilson could continue his struggles, Jason Vargas may look like the pitcher that got shelled outside of Safeco Field in Seattle, and they seem to love Joe Blanton a whole lot more than everyone else (maybe not Joe Blanton's family but you catch my drift).
•How The Standings Will Play Out:
oLos Angeles Angels
oTexas Rangers
oSeattle Mariners
oOakland Athletics
oHouston Astros

American League Wild Card Teams:
•Boston Red Sox
•Texas Rangers

National League EAST:
•Division Winner: Washington Nationals
•Why They'll Get It Done: If you don't have Spring Training statistical concerns, there are almost no flaws in the makeup of this team. I'll knit-pick starting rotation depth in case anyone in their starting five get hurt, but this is as a complete lineup as there is in the National League. Ross Detwiler is their number 4 starter and his fastball had more swings and misses than his rotation-mate, Stephen Strasburg. They also have three closers hanging out in the bullpen with ridiculous stuff in Rafael Soriano, Drew Storen and Tyler Clippard. First to 100-wins this year will be the "Curly Ws."
•How They Could Screw Up My Prediction: Strasburg decides to shut himself down in fear of the future. Seriously, there's no way this team doesn't make the playoffs unless half the team get their legs or arms cut off in a freak accident falling off the "Shake Shack" deck.
• How The Standings Will Play Out:
oWashington Nationals
oAtlanta Braves
oPhiladelphia Phillies
oNew York Mets
oMiami Marlins

National League CENTRAL:
•Division Winner: Cincinnati Reds
•Why They'll Get It Done: They've shown a healthy, durable starting rotation in 2012, and first baseman Joey Votto is poised for a monster season at first base. Outfielder Jay Bruce has put up better home run and RBI numbers than the previous season in all five his big league seasons. And did I mention the "Jay A Kid" is just 25-years-old? Makes me realize how little I've accomplished in my young life.
•How They Could Screw Up My Prediction: The superb health of their starting rotation from a season ago breaks down in 2013. Also if Aroldis Chapman struggles to throw strikes back in the closer's role and doesn't develop more quality pitches other than his fastball. His secondary pitch, his slider was only thrown about 12 percent of the time. At some point, as a top-notch closer, you need more than one great out pitch to keep hitters guessing.
•How The Standings Will Play Out:
oCincinnati Reds
oSt. Louis Cardinals
oPittsburgh Pirates
oMilwaukee Brewers
oChicago Cubs

National League WEST:
•Division Winner: Los Angeles Dodgers
•Why They'll Get It Done: Led by arguably the top 1-2 pitching combination in baseball with Clayton Kershaw and Zack Greinke, the Dodgers talent plays to their capabilities and is too much to handle for pitching-heavy San Francisco and chippy Arizona.
•How They Could Screw Up My Prediction: They get off to a rotten, slow start, and play the role of the 2012 Angels; struggling to climb out of the hole they created for themselves.
•How The Standings Will Play Out:
oLos Angeles Dodgers
oSan Francisco Diamondbacks
oSan Diego Padres
oArizona Diamondbacks
oColorado Rockies

National League Wild Card Teams:
•Atlanta Braves
•St. Louis Cardinals

World Series Matchup:
•Nationals over Rays in 5.

American League Rookie of the Year:
•Wil Myers - Tampa Bay Rays OF

National League Rookie of the Year:
•Shelby Miller - St. Louis Cardinals SP

American League Cy Young:
•Justin Verlander - Detroit Tigers SP

National League Cy Young:
•Cole Hamels - Philadelphia Phillies SP

American League MVP:
•Evan Longoria - Tampa Bay Rays 3B

National League MVP:
•Matt Kemp - LA Dodgers OF

 

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Richard A. Clarke: Never Forget: Our Invasion of Iraq Was a Breach of Trust

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Richard A. ClarkeFormer Advisor to the President on Cyber Security

GET UPDATES FROM Richard A. Clarke   Like 3 Never Forget: Our Invasion of Iraq Was a Breach of Trust Posted: 03/19/2013 7:00 am Follow   War Wire ,   Iraq , Iraq Invasion , Iraq War Anniversary , Politics News
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On Tuesday, at this 10th anniversary of the American Invasion of Iraq, we would do well to remind ourselves about some painful facts.

Keeping those facts in our collective memory may make it easier for us as a nation to prevent future mistakes. So, let us recall five unfortunate facts about the U.S. invasion of Iraq.

First, the leaders of the Bush administration were intent on invading from the beginning of their time in the White House. When the 9-11 attacks occurred, Bush cabinet members immediately discussed how that tragedy could be used to justify an invasion.

Bush himself asked me to try to pin the blame for 9-11 on Iraq. Vice President Dick Cheney propagated a myth that a hijacker had met with Iraqi intelligence officials in Prague, even though we knew at the time Cheney said it that the report was false and that the hijacker was in Virginia at the time of the alleged meeting.

Second, the Bush-Cheney team settled on the excuse for invading that Iraq was making weapons of mass destruction. They trotted out to Congress, the American people and the United Nations a series of fabricated intelligence reports.

Iraq was allegedly buying "yellow cake" uranium from Niger. The documentary proof used turns out to have been a forgery. Iraq had mobile biological-weapons labs. The eyewitness has been shown to be a liar. Iraq was allegedly training al Qaida. The only evidence of that were the ravings of a terrorist under extreme torture.

The proof that these and other fabricated intelligence reports were erroneous was available well before we invaded.

Third, the mismanagement of the war cost thousands of American lives and more than 100,000 Iraqi lives and disfigured, dismembered or traumatized tens of thousands of Americans. The financial and human cost of those casualties will be felt for decades.

The Bush administration had no real plan for occupying Iraq, but it dismissed the Iraqi army, despite the fact that the army had access to a trove of arms. An insurgency immediately followed, and for months thereafter, the secretary of defense not only refused to admit it, he banned the use of the word insurgency.

Fourth, those who profited most were Iran and al Qaeda. For years, Iran's aggression in the region was held in check by the Baghdad government. Since the U.S. invasion, Iran has gained greater influence throughout the area, undermining the U.S. and its allies.

Because we were busy in Iraq, U.S. military and intelligence assets were not available to end quickly the al Qaeda and Taliban presence in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Thus, the people who actually attacked us on Sept. 11 were free for years to regain their strength.

Fifth, the invasion and occupation of Iraq added between one trillion and two trillion dollars to our long-term debt, depending upon what costs are considered (replacing equipment, caring for veterans).

Defense contractors like Halliburton and Blackwater made huge profits. Those expenses were initiated at the same time as the Bush administration began a tax cut. The financial difficulties our government and economy face today are in large part driven by those twin decisions.

It is appropriate that we thank our veteran soldiers and civilians for their service in Iraq, for they did what was asked of them. It is, however, inappropriate that we thank for their service the senior officials who concocted this debacle.

We may have as a nation implicitly decided that we would be better off without trials or even without a Truth and Reconciliation Commission, but we should not forget what those officials did to us as a nation, to our soldiers, to our finances, to our moral standing in the world. For to do that, to welcome them back as elder statesmen, would be to offend our fallen and our wounded, and to reward duplicity by those who swore a public trust.

One of America's great strengths is that it looks to the future, not the past. It may also be one of our greatest weaknesses. We often pay a price for our collective amnesia or ignorance of our own history. Instead, we must remember, we must teach the history, not cover it up, and never forget it.

Richard A. Clarke, the counterterrorism coordinator at the National Security Council from 1993 to 2001, is chairman of Good Harbor Consulting and the author of "Against All Enemies: Inside America's War on Terror."

First published in the Orlando Sentinel.

 FOLLOW POLITICS Like 221k   Get Alerts #ad_bottom_article_text {margin-bottom: 15px} War WireIraq Read more from Huffington Post bloggers: Robert Scheer Robert Scheer: Time Heals All Hubris Jon Soltz Jon Soltz: Iraq Veterans' thoughts on today's anniversary

Robert Scheer: Time Heals All Hubris

How is it that there is no palpable sense of soul searching associated with the 10th anniversary of a war based on officially concocted lies and a policy of torture? It is because the presumption of a unique American claim to an original and enduring innocence perseveres, no matter the death and destruction.

Jon Soltz: Iraq Veterans' thoughts on today's anniversary

This week marks ten years since the launch of the war in Iraq. I was a young Captain at the time, and part of the...
  foxnewsradio Pres Obama on 10th Iraq War Anniversary: "The last of our troops left Iraq with their heads held high in 2011." (@Majchrowitz) 9 minutes ago from GroupTweet lynnsweet Sweet blog Rep. Tammy Duckworth, wounded vet on Iraq War 10th anniversary http://t.co/BJ6K3HlyeY 24 minutes ago from twitterfeed AP Iraq attacks kill dozens on 10th anniversary of the beginning of the Iraq War: http://t.co/hqG5lLyPl9 -AB 50 minutes ago from SocialFlow AP Iraq attacks kill dozens on 10th anniversary of the beginning of the Iraq War: http://t.co/BQ8Fonsnsm -AB 50 minutes ago from SocialFlow Repent11 On the 10th anniversary of Iraq War; I share my book Baghdad Bound published in 2004. From war's front line. http://t.co/ssc51am2uw #Iraq 1 hour ago from Twitter for BlackBerry® BobBrigham #MTleg House Dems rolling over instead of standing up today happened on 10th anniversary of Iraq War, which occurred due to same mistake. 1 hour ago from TweetDeck ComedyCentral It's the 10th anniversary of the #Iraq War. Which means it's probably going to be re-released in 3D this summer. 1 hour ago from web RepMikeCoffman My statement on the 10 year anniversary of the Iraq War: http://t.co/NJhl8Z2sgH 1 hour ago from web CostsOfWar Gallup: On 10th Anniversary, 53% in U.S. See Iraq War as Mistake http://t.co/gp7OowDb2l 2 hours ago from Tweet Button NishaChittal RT @thinkprogress: Today is the 10 year anniversary of the start of the Iraq War. http://t.co/fiK9Vk557s 2 hours ago from TweetDeck justimage On 10th anniversary of US-led war, Iraq still being "liberated" with car bombs: 56 killed today http://t.co/PPpyDMnySo 2 hours ago from Tweet Button TP_Security RT @thinkprogress Today is the 10 year anniversary of the start of the Iraq War. This is the COMPREHENSIVE TIMELINE. http://t.co/AmpWrDahEC 2 hours ago from TweetDeck thinkprogress Today is the 10 year anniversary of the start of the Iraq War. This is the COMPREHENSIVE TIMELINE. http://t.co/D9bUY45ftq #neverforget 2 hours ago from TweetDeck Heritage NOW @Istook: @PeteHegseth, CEO of Concerned Vets for America. Listen to him talk on10th anniversary of #Iraq War: http://t.co/e7Fs1YHt8C! 2 hours ago from web GettyImagesNews Slideshow: 10th anniversary of the start of the #Iraq War http://t.co/qOvcNVYpNs ... @SFGate 2 hours ago from SocialEngage davidsirota On the 10-yr anniversary of the invasion, here's why America seems destined to repeat the mistakes of the Iraq War: http://t.co/pjaS1wa6AV 3 hours ago from Twitter for iPad HotlineJosh And as poll released, Cotton shows up on @dailyrundown to talk about the 10th anniversary of Iraq war 3 hours ago from web thejointstaff GEN @Martin_Dempsey at @CSIS on 10-year anniversary of the start of the Iraq War & future of the region: http://t.co/9VEkOj1Bag 3 hours ago from HootSuite natalieben Looking forward to speaking tonight @STWuk meeting in Brighton marking 10th anniversary of start of the #Iraq War: http://t.co/n6HEsl7U0s 3 hours ago from HootSuite daveweigel Anniversary of the Iraq War reminds me: Where were the Peterson debt hawks when we were launching wars and cutting taxes? 4 hours ago from TweetDeck Show more results TOP INFLUENCERS ON THIS TOPIC 99 99 92 84 84 TOP LINKS ON THIS TOPIC 1 of 5

Lessons learned from the Iraq War

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sharing his personal story at the Iraq War Anniversary event at tonight #iraq

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My latest article on the Iraq invasion

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of our newest badge: Community Curator. View AllFavorites Recency |  Popularity Jay HaneyMy nuclear family imploded when I was 18. I've bee979 Fans 24 minutes ago (12:04 PM)Mr. Clarke, I've always admired you, sir, for being the only visible member of government to do something the entire W administration refused to do: take responsibility for the failures on 9/11. Watching the tragedies that have followed since that grand abdication of what should have been theirs has been a nightmare.

You once asked for forgiveness for your and others' part in failing to stop 9/11. By virtue of your actions then and now (now, of course, encompassing this article), you are forgiven. The others...there can be none without them owning what was theirs all along.Jay_Haney: Mr. Clarke, I've always admired you, sir, for being thehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Jay_Haney/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238215199.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… MetaMD84 Fans 27 minutes ago (12:01 PM)We need a Truth Commission with Bush and Cheney testifying under oath. Simple. Let's get to the truth for our country"s sake, the sooner the better. Just look at the damage.MetaMD: We need a Truth Commission with Bush and Cheney testifyinghttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/MetaMD/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238214255.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… HUFFPOST SUPER USERyatahayaz248 Fans 36 minutes ago (11:52 AM)Thank you Mr. Clarke for being one of the few in our government who has the guts to call it like it is. Too bad the neo-conservatives could not view reality through their lens of ideology. Tragic for the lives this experiment has cost, and the treasure it has robbed from the next generation. What swine inhabited the White House for 8 years!yatahayaz: Thank you Mr. Clarke for being one of the fewhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/yatahayaz/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238211873.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… beaver72160 Fans   46 minutes ago (11:42 AM)Sad to see a couple of lies still being presented. The Congressional Authorization for War in Iraq listed 23 reasons for the war (in the introductory "Whereas..." paragraphs). Two of those listed WMD leaving 21 other reasons for the war. And as to the Iraqi lost of life one wonders why the death rate dropped from over 8 per 1000 per year to 5 per 1000 per year almost immediately (equal to 75,000 lives saved per year) and the population boomed from 22 million to 31 million during the war.beaver7216: Sad to see a couple of lies still being presented.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/beaver7216/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238209097.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… leopoldbloom1629 Fans   53 minutes ago (11:35 AM)It would be a lot easier to stomach if we made any effort whatsoever to hold anyone accountable. But Obama decided he didn't want that distraction.leopoldbloom16: It would be a lot easier to stomach if wehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/leopoldbloom16/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238207239.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… love4lifeNunya599 Fans 2 hours ago (10:42 AM)I'm not lying this time. Honest.

~Richard Clarkelove4life: I'm not lying this time. Honest. ~Richard Clarkehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/love4life/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238193784.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share it This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program ufopp3493 Fans 31 minutes ago (11:57 AM)We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.

~Richard Cheneyufopp: We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators. ~Richard Cheneyhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/ufopp/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238213220.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments…This comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… AuntFaintly22 Fans 2 hours ago (10:07 AM)"If any question why we died,
Tell them, because our fathers lied."
Rudyard KiplingAuntFaintly: "If any question why we died, Tell them, because ourhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/AuntFaintly/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238185674.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share it Jay HaneyMy nuclear family imploded when I was 18. I've bee979 Fans 23 minutes ago (12:05 PM)One of my favorite Kipling quotes, written in response to another fiasco called the Great War then, World War I now.Jay_Haney: One of my favorite Kipling quotes, written in response tohttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Jay_Haney/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238215546.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments…This comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… SunnyDaySamTo Err is Human, to Forgive is Canine1721 Fans 3 hours ago ( 9:02 AM)Excellent article. Thank you Mr. Clarke.SunnyDaySam: Excellent article. Thank you Mr. Clarke.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/SunnyDaySam/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238172800.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… PayingAttentionconsider this77 Fans 4 hours ago ( 8:34 AM)It is hard to fathom how far our nation's esteem in the eyes of the world fell from the Clinton years to the Bush years. Clinton went to our old enemy, Vietnam, and was treated like a rock star. Bush went to our supposed ally, Iraq, and shoes were thrown at him.
For those on the right, the successes of the Clinton governing policies were leading to an intolerable situation, people may come to view government as a helpful presence in their lives and want more of it. This would lead to a national acceptance of higher taxes to pay for it and also a government that might put limits on the Ayn Rand types whose main goal is to swell their wealth and power.
The right came to power not with the idea that they could govern better, but to discredit government in the eyes of the voter so they would want far less of it. The underlying motivation for the tax cuts and the Iraq war was not fiscal stimulus or protecting the country, but was to under mine the peoples confidence in government. They also knew that with the proper song and dance they could convince a significant portion of the population that all this was a good thing.
For that tiny sliver of the population that controls the lion's share of our national wealth, a well run national government that functions for the benefit of all is an enemy that must be destroyed.PayingAttention: It is hard to fathom how far our nation's esteemhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/PayingAttention/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238168119.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… HUFFPOST SUPER USERKatherine GuidryReal Estate Appraiser & Environmental150 Fans 4 hours ago ( 8:22 AM)We can never hope to recover our strong sense of judgement that Americans see as part of our identity until this war is dealt with in a true court of law...hoping the state of Vermont invites Bush and Cheney to their lovely state to begin this processKatherine_Guidry: We can never hope to recover our strong sense ofhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Katherine_Guidry/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238166221.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… VTpat571 Fans 4 hours ago ( 8:16 AM)A shameful chapter in our history. We must do all we can never to repeat it.VTpat: A shameful chapter in our history. We must do allhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/VTpat/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238165348.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… Countess1949 Fans 4 hours ago ( 8:07 AM)I agree that the invasion of Iraq was a breach of trust but it will certainly not be the last as we are well on the way to another one as the same neocons in both parties have deliberately made war with Iran almost inevitable and the sheepish public doesn't seem to mind.Countess: I agree that the invasion of Iraq was a breachhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Countess/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238164131.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… Trydecency250 Fans 5 hours ago ( 7:52 AM)Good summary of the Iraq debacle, but what else is new? Iraq is being swept into the National Memory Hole alongside the massive U.S. war crime of the Vietnam War -- which also was based on lies and distortions -- Panama, Grenada and other unnecessary, politically motivated murder-fests. This keeps happening because the nation's knee-jerk conservative school districts refuse to teach accurate history classes, instead summarizing recent wars with the comfortable myths spread by the media. (The Iraq invasion was a response to the "unprovoked" 9-11 attacks, Saddam was responsible or connected to Al Qaeda, etc.) These myths continue now -- that the Afghanistan war is necessary because otherwise AQ would be able to attack America again, and other such nonsense. Any teacher who taught the simple, documented truth about these issues would be fired in most districts, probably for presenting "material not in the curriculum." And so it goes.

By the way, when are we going to stop hand-wringing about our unnecessary wars and actually change our government to provide accountability and more responsiveness to the people's wishes?
Sadly, the answer to that is -- Never. All the hand-wringing is just part of the National Memory Hole sweep-up process and clears the way for the next unnecessary war. That's the American Way.Trydecency: Good summary of the Iraq debacle, but what else ishttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Trydecency/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238162256.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share it beaver72160 Fans   32 minutes ago (11:57 AM)Don't leave out the Afghanistan war. I have no idea why were are there, why we escalated, what we have gained from the escalation. It is one thing to remove the Taliban but why all these extra human and financial costs? If it was to find bin Laden, he was in Pakistan.

All US wars have been based on lies, either entirely or in part. We still don't know why we had the War of 1812-was it a British invasion or an attempt to take over the "Northwest Territories and the Indian lands there? Lincoln talked about saving the Union to some, and, later, freeing slaves to others. The Mexican War was based on a fight that may or may not have happened in what may or may not have been the US. (See Spot Resolution). We still don't know about the USS Maine. Wilson lied about captured communications between Mexico and Germany in WW1 and wanted to do a pre-emptive strike against Germany. Pearl Harbor made sense but Roosevelt really wanted war with Germany and used that as an excuse. Korean War was a result of Truman's flip-flop, first declaring Korea was out of the zone of security and outside of US protections. And then there is the Gulf of Tonkin.

One of the lies out of Iraq was that "For the first time, the US went to a pre-emptive war, a war based on lies."beaver7216: Don't leave out the Afghanistan war. I have no ideahttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/beaver7216/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238213126.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments…This comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… HUFFPOST SUPER USERgreytunesAll shall be punish'ed622 Fans 5 hours ago ( 7:38 AM)Excellent post and critique of our actions in Iraq.greytunes: Excellent post and critique of our actions in Iraq.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/greytunes/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238160691.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… ShakeMyHeadInDisbelief0 Fans 5 hours ago ( 7:21 AM)Yes absolutely true. Now the push is for an attack on Iran, again much pushed for by different lobbies, interests, the press, again with fabricated and exaggerated reasons, this time by a democratic administration. I wonder if China is going spare us another trillion or two?ShakeMyHeadInDisbelief: Yes absolutely true. Now the push is for an attackhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/ShakeMyHeadInDisbelief/iraq-war-anniversary_b_2904285_238159009.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments…    new comment(s) on this entry — Click to refreshLoading comments… Most Popular Elizabeth Warren Talks $22-An-Hour Minimum Wage PRINTABLE NCAA Tournament Bracket History Channel's Satan Looks A Lot Like Obama... Elisabeth Hasselbeck's Days At 'The View' Are Reportedly Numbered CNN, Fox News Air Name Of Underage Rape Victim Indian Officials Suggest Swiss Tourist, Husband Partially To Blame For Gang Rape Britney Spears Reunites With Ex-Husband Ohio Rape Trial Verdict Announced Gwyneth Paltrow Reveals Devastating Miscarriage Hillary Clinton Comes Out For Gay Marriage MSNBC Almost Entirely Dominated By Opinion, New Study Says PICTURES: Nailed It! PHOTOS: Kate Middleton Almost Trips On Her Heels At St Patrick's Day Parade Marine Draws Gun, Stops Brutal Crime BEYONCE'S BACK Banned For Life Karl Rove Mocks Sarah Palin Tenure As Governor Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart's Fame Is 'Tragic,' Says 'Twilight' Author Fox News Contributor Makes Shocking Judd Joke Soccer Player Celebrates Goal With Nazi Salute Follow HuffPost Email Facebook Twitter Google Plus RSS Mobile HuffPost Daily Brief Politics Get top stories and blogs posts emailed to you each day.

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